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托福作文求评分.TPO9的独立作文.综合作文,Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement?Technologyhasmadechildrenlesscreativethantheywereinthepast.Usespecificreasonsandexamplestosupportyouranswer.作文如下
更新时间:2024-03-28 20:37:15
4人问答
问题描述:

托福作文求评分.TPO9的独立作文.

综合作文,

Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement?Technologyhasmadechildrenlesscreativethantheywereinthepast.Usespecificreasonsandexamplestosupportyouranswer.

作文如下:

Some,firmlyholdingtheviewpointthatthecreativityandtheimaginationofthekidsdeclinewiththeappearanceofTVs,magazines,computersandothermoderntechnologies,areonthesamesidewithme.Thenewly-inventedtechnologiesapparentlypreventthechildrenfrompositivethinkingandcreativeworksinsteadrisetobeapassiveinformationacceptor.Thefirstreason,easytoacquire,istheinabilitytoactivatingthebrainthinking.Exposedtotheinformationexplosionandtheeaseprovidedbytheinformationsearchingengines,thekidsalwayswon'tthinkforthemselveswhenconfrontedwithanydifficulties.Justtakeoneofmybrothersforaninstance,histeacherassignedhimtowriteanessayontheanimals'defensivebehaviorswiththehelpofacompulsorybook,hejustputthatbookawayandloggedontheinternet,pastedtheinformationwithoutevenameticulousreading.Additionally,asIwanttostate,moderntechnologylikeTVs,magazines,electronicbooksfostertheteenstobeathoroughpassiveacceptor.That'stosay,therealwaysbeingnoconsiderablethoughtswonderingwetherit'strueornot,theteenagersadapttothebackgroundsandtheviewpointsthatarecastintheTVsormagazinesandsoon.Thephenomenonthatyounggirlscannotstopreadingthepinkbubblelovestories,ignoringthepossibilitythataprincefallsinlovewithanuglygirlonlyforherkindheart,stronglychampionsthepoint.AndthelastreasonIwanttomaintainisthatasyoungteensspendsomuchtimeontheinternetchatting,playinggames,watchingmovies,theylosethechancestodoothercreativeworkslikewritingpoetry,drawingpictures,sculptingastoneandsomanyjobsthatmotivatethekids'brainstorm.Allinall,themoderntechnologiesdodecreasethemotivationofcreativityattheconsequenceofbeingexposedtosomuchinformation,growingintoapassiveacceptorandlackoftimetodocreativejobs.

规定时间内完成.

吕艳娜回答:
  理由有点差不多,后两个没有论据(就是例子).还有,语言不太地道,如oneofmybrothers可以直接说mybrother+人名.分数我不好说,不过我考试都是GOOD,一定要有例子,格式相似没关系,例子最重要.关于今昔对比文章,从“科技的发展,环境的污染,观念的扭转,福利的完善”四方面考虑.论点既是:1.孩子观念改变(不用creative,因为有科技),2..3..
丁亚回答:
  谢谢你啊同学,我还想问一下,第一个问题是:第二点里我所说的younggirlscannotstopreadingthepinkbubblelovestories这样的算例子吗?就是不指名道姓只是描述现象的那种?第二点是,如果时间不够了的话,这个时候我们该怎么办……
吕艳娜回答:
  例子分泛例和具体的例子。泛例即是不具体的人名,比如说你的那个younggirlscannotstopreadingthepinkbubblelovestories,但是这样不能GOOD因为没有点到论点。就像论点是A+B-->C,则例子中一定要体现A1+B1-->C1,不然提到了就没用了。个人推荐泛例,因为具体的例子要写具体情况,这样就得多写字,导致最后时间不够。泛例不用特定情况,可以节省几十个字。时间不够可以只写2个论点,但是一定要充分详细。其实一段100字足够了,应该写得完。其中例子70-80字,语言一定要地道啊。
丁亚回答:
  恩,非常感谢你~~~
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